Time
by minor-thing
Summary: In the aftermath of a failed relationship with Priya, Leonard and Penny slowly find their way back to one another. Leonard/Penny
1. Chapter 1

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

_-_"Time", Pink Floyd

Set in Season 4, does not follow a particular episode or adhere as closely to the plot as my previous episode-titled stories. Enjoy!

.

Priya moved out a week ago. All of her belongs – gone. Leonard had pleaded her to stay. Almost desperately.

Priya had refused. She explained to him calmly that her heard couldn't be in i_t_ if his wasn't. Leonard didn't understand. He tried to grab the folded blouses from her bag as she folded them in, willing her to understand the situation and give it one more try.

.

The situation: uncomfortable with Leonard's friendship with Penny, Priya requested that Leonard cut hi ties from her. Stop talking to her, stop seeing her, everything. Leonard was uncomfortable hearing this. He mulled over it, wrung it out in his mind, and came to Priya with his final decision: "I don't think I can do that, Priya."

So, Priya yelled. Explained her side of the story in an angry, jealous decibel that eventually ended with her breaking up with him venomously. Leonard tried to get her to stay, to coax her out of her rage by telling her that friendship did not equate to romance, and that Penny was merely a _friend._

.

Now, Leonard begged her to understand the situation. To understand his point of view: he couldn't drop a friend who had done nothing wrong! Leonard appreciated Penny's friendship. He had long since dropped the resentment for her breaking up with him and decided to focus on their friendship. He'd come to appreciate her in a far more platonic way; she brought balance and spunk to their foursome.

"Priya, just stay."

She didn't. She left that evening, moving her things back into Raj's apartment until she could find a place of her own.

.

A week of heartache passed. Leonard spent long evenings in his lab at the university, trying to distract himself from the reality that, not only had he lost a wonderful girlfriend in Priya, he had failed another relationship. In general.

He tried to calculate where he went wrong. With Stephanie, it was his apprehension to fuse their lives and his inordinate fascination with his neighbour. With Penny, it _was_ the inordinate fascination that pushed her away. With Priya, it was… stubbornness? The inability to compromise and bend?

To let go? Of his inordinate fascination?

.

Three weeks ago: Priya sat Leonard down on a bench in the park and spoke to him with meticulous articulation.

"Leonard, I need you to stop seeing Penny."

Just like that. She was frank. Her arms were crossed over her corduroy jacket and she was not smiling. Her lips were pursed, in fact. "It's just something that I can't deal with."

Three weeks ago, later that day after he and Priya had returned from the park, Leonard walked across the hall and knocked on Penny's door. His stomach was tied in knots. She had opened the door with breeziness, and said: "Yo, is the food home yet?"

_Y_o, _is the food home yet._

Later that evening he would analyze that sentence. He would notice the comfortableness in it, the way she put their lives together under the umbrella of "home". In his analysis, he came to think that Priya may have picked up on something that he wasn't aware of. Maybe he _hadn't _ noticed how intertwined his life was with Penny.

At her door, he had said: "Penny, I need to talk to you about something." He explained the situation to her as it stood – in a roundabout way, of course – and waited for her to flip out. Leonard had expected a violent, territorial reaction of their friendship from her, but all he got from her was the most humiliating flush of pink on her cheeks, glassy eyes, and a "I completely understand. Sorry. I'll just make grilled cheese for supper." She had closed the door in his face with no aggression, leaving him in their hallway, totally stunned.

-_tbc_

_Author's note: I'll post a new chapter as soon as I can. This was written from a couple of days ago, so the new one should be up soon. Please leave your thoughts in the form of a review! - Leah_


	2. Chapter 2

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

"Time", Pink Floyd

-Sorry about the spelling/grammatical errors in the first chapter. I'll proofread this time. It should also be mentioned that, as with my other stories, group interaction is only alluded to.

.

Life had regularity once again. Time had passed since his breakup with Priya, and Leonard had worked up the courage to face Raj in their apartment for dinner, Halo, and all other traditions. Raj had not been as angry as Leonard had feared. In fact, Raj had been perfectly reasonable when Leonard has said to him that he didn't want to make a big deal of it, that he was sorry, but he wanted to keep it on the down low.

He hadn't told Penny yet. Over ginger chicken, everyone had asked him if Penny knew about Priya being gone. Leonard hadn't told her, so he assumed that no, she didn't know. Dodging further questions, Leonard shifted the conversational ball over to Sheldon.

.

He ran into Bernadette in the coffee shop down the street from their apartment. He was picking up sandwiches for the four guys for their viewing of _Marlowe _that evening. Bernadette, in her Cheesecake Factory uniform, had two take-out cups of coffee in her hand.

"I'm just heading up to Penny's." She explained in her mousey voice. "Girls night, we're watching a movie too!"

"Well you guys should join us."

Bernadette thought about this for a moment. "Won't it be weird?" She raised her eyebrows. "You know, with you and Penny?"

Leonard shrugged it off. "Nah, of course not. Me and Penny hang out all the time, it's no big deal."

Bernadette's eyebrows raised further. "Penny told me about Priya, though. How you guys aren't supposed to see each other? She said she doesn't want to get in the middle of that… so maybe we shouldn't go." Bernadette glanced out the window, uncomfortable.

"I'm not seeing Priya anymore."

Even speaking to Bernadette, Leonard felt like his sentence echoed. It sounded hollow. He couldn't figure out why. "It's a long story I guess, but…" He shrugged, "If you want to come over, the invite is there, alright?"

He shifted the brown paper bag of sandwiches in his hand and waved goodbye.

.

The girls came over. Ten minutes after Leonard had gotten home, they sauntered in, led by Bernadette. Penny's eyes went instantly to Leonard, round and green. In them, Leonard had recognized something that made his stomach twist: hope. She asked for confirmation on his breakup in one look. The rest of the evening, Leonard's mind wandered.

So did his eyes. Penny sat on the couch with Raj and Sheldon, Bernadette and Howard were cozied together on the chair, and Leonard sat on a wooden kitchen chair with his feet resting on Sheldon's computer desk chair. Despite his profound interest in Bruce Lee, Leonard found himself turning his head to the left every so often, straining his peripherals to see where Penny's eyes lay.

He had that feeling. That feeling of _knowing _someone was looking at you. Later that night in bed, he'd rolled over that feeling in his head, wondering if he was paranoid, crazy or hopeful.

Leonard figured he wasn't crazy for feeling Penny look at him. She wasn't being obnoxious about it; she snuck her looks in brief, short glances, often when she was pretending to fix her hair or reach over to the coffee table for a handful of popcorn.

What was she looking for?

.

The month passed with little event. Penny became frequent at the apartment again, the uncertainty that was in her eyes during _Marlowe _now gone. She inflated once again with the same vivacious energy that she'd had for their friendship prior to Priya. She came over for dinner, most often in the company of either Amy Farrah-Fowler or Bernadette. She cracked jokes, wore sweatpants, clipped her toenails in their presence. Everything had plateaued back to normalcy.

For the most part.

.

A week after she'd come over for the movie, after the dust of his break up with Priya settled, Penny had come over to borrow a cable for her laptop from Leonard or Sheldon. She'd entered without knocking, as usual, hollering for either Sheldon or Leonard for their attention.

Leonard hadn't heard her. He'd been in his bedroom, filling a cardboard box with Priya's belongings.

She knocked on his door frame, singing out his name, "_Leonard_." She explained the situation – she needed a printer cable so she could print out an online Cosmopolitan from the internet. "I know I should know the ratios and everything, I _do _bartend on occasion, but there's so much going on up here," She pointed to her braided blonde head, "that a girl just forgets sometimes, you know? I'm going to Bernadette's though and I _really _need recipe so if you could grab the cable lickety-split that'd be _awesome_."

Leonard turned around, shaken out of a daze. He'd been packing memory after memory of Priya into a box and hadn't heard Penny come in.

"Whatcha got there?" Penny sat down on the bed and reached into the box. "_Memoirs of a Geisha_, huh? Wow, far cry from _Spiderman._"

"It's Priya's."

Silence fell over them. Penny's formerly relaxed form took on uncomfortable rigidity. "Oh." She dropped it back into the box like it was burning her fingers. "Whoops. Sorry."

Leonard picked up the novel. "No, no, it's fine. She's moving back to India." The silence continued. Leonard glanced over to Penny. "So she asked for the rest of her things back. The um, the ones the forgot when she moved out."

"Ah, right." She nodded, knowingly. "Ok, well I'll leave you to it …"

"No, don't be silly, I'm almost done."

Penny sat quietly on Leonard's bed, sitting as close to the edge as she could. He felt her watch him as he finished stacking Priya's leftover novels, academic binders and DVD.

"Lots of stuff."

He chose not to reply. Yeah, it was a lot of stuff. This had been her official home for nearly a month until they'd broken up.

He closed the flaps of the box. "Help me tape it?"

"Sure."

She handed him the packing tape apparatus, steadying the box as he sealed it shut. His former girlfriend steadying the box of belongings of his more recently former girlfriend. Leonard pressed the tape down. Weird.

"Is it weird?" Penny asked. It was like she had taken the words right out of his brain. Leonard thought about how to answer that question. Yes, yes it was weird that the dynamic of these two women in his life had been such a big thing. It _was weird _that his girlfriend dumped him on account of his inability to sever ties with his other ex-girlfriend. _Ties of friendship._

Penny continued when she got no response from Leonard: "I mean, her moving out and back to India? Not having her here? That's a big change. I can imagine how empty that feels."

Leonard's throat hitched in his throat. So she hadn't necessarily been implying that the threesome dynamic had been weird. However, her words _how empty it feels _hung in the air. Her uncomfortable shift of focus downstairs spoke volumes of the sentence's weight.

"Yeah." Leonard said simply. He lifted the box onto the floor. "So, which cable?"

"Right!" Penny perked up. "Something to connect my laptop to my printer!"

They exited his room. "You're printing recipes?"

"Yup! Cosmopolitans for Girls Night with Amy and Bernadette! I've got five dollars' worth of drugstore-brand face mask packets in my glove compartment, a family-sized bag of chocolate chips and fresh strawberries. Should be a good night." They laughed.

"Cosmopolitans. That's the pink drink from S_ex and the City_, right?"

"Oh, Leonard."

.

Since then, in the three weeks following that instance of vulnerability, nothing of substance had happened. Leonard dropped the remainder of Priya's belongings over at Raj's. She had been out that afternoon and hadn't been around to tell him that her flight was scheduled for the Saturday morning of that week.

On Wednesday, he got a call from Priya asking him to meet her for a drink that Friday evening before she left. He'd agreed. On Friday evening he found himself showering and dressing while the rest of the guys ate their Thai food in the living room. He could hear their conversation turning into an argument about which vintage video game they'd be enjoying that evening.

Leonard did a once-over in the mirror. Brown corduroy straight-legged pant and a black, untucked dress shirt that Priya had picked out for him. She had mentioned the bar they were meeting at was rather chic, and Leonard preferred not to stand out _more _next to his strikingly elegant ex-girlfriend. He tousled his curls, checked his teeth, and grabbed his wallet.

"I mean diced chicken, how hard of a concept is that?" Sheldon's stare of unhappiness was directed at his carton of take out.

"Don't you look sharp." Howard.

"I can't believe my sister is spending her last night with you, dude." Raj.

And then, Penny came in, all bouncy and happy. She'd been in an exceptionally balanced mood lately, hanging out with Amy and Bernadette, and swinging by Leonard's apartment more and more. Her smile grew when she was what Leonard was wearing. "My, my that's a spiffy outfit for vintage game night, Mr. Hofstadter." She tossed a bag of cheese puffs at Howard. "Look, I brought snacks, will you let me play tonight for once?"

"Penny, its elementary math: the number of controllers is not proportionate to the number of people." Sheldon chastised. "Honestly, I don't know how you question that every week."

Leonard saw this as his window. "Actually, Penny can take my controller this week."

"Right, _right, _Leonard has big _farewell _with Priya tonight." Howard wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

In his self-imposed silence, Raj stared daggers at Howard. Quickly, Leonard shrugged Howard's crude implication off. "We're just going for drinks." He scanned the room, unnerved by Penny's total change in demeanour. She showed no sign of disappointment, but her bubbling enthusiasm of minutes previous had dissipated. She sat in her chair, stoic, showing no flicker of emotion. Leonard looked away.

"Good _night_." Closing the door, Leonard caught one final image of Penny watching him leave, her face blank, tucking her over-grown bangs behind her ear.

.

Over two bottles of wine in a terribly dimly-lit lounge, Leonard listened to Priya explain the details of her new job at a law firm in Mumbai. He drank to ease the awkwardness that existed between them, and later, as Priya continued drinking, he drank to blur the biting criticisms she had of him.

For ten minutes, she'd been droning on and on about Leonard's relationship with Penny. "You just didn't s_ee it did you_?" Her words were fairly slurred. "It was this look she had. I can't really explain it. It was akin to _hunger_ I would say."

He drank.

"Hunger on an empty stomach, perhaps. Like you and I were…" She fluttered her hands in the air, "grilling steaks or something else American right under her nose and she couldn't have any." She drained her glass of wine. "Did she think we were going to have her over for dinner or something?"

Leonard felt himself getting confused in her train of thought. Her originally message was clear: she didn't like Penny. She thought that she was a self-absorbed, self-righteous parasite, attaching on to his and Priya's relationship. Leonard would never, ever had chosen words quite so harsh to describe his friend Penny, but his defending of her only spurred Priya on an even longer list of the so-called _obvious _reasons that Penny hung around Leonard.

She folded her hands on the table. "I'm sorry."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "It's not me you really should apologize to. You didn't diss _me_ for fifteen minutes." He poured the two of them another glass of wine.

Priya down half of it. "Yes. Ah, well." She shrugged. "It's in the past. It was all petty jealousy, but it's over."

Petty jealousy. Whose petty jealousy? Priya's or Penny's?

Both, probably.

Priya leaned in to the table, the stain of wine on her lips. "Take me home?"

.

The took a taxi back to Raj's apartment. Calling out his name a couple of times and receiving no answer, Priya pulled Leonard into her by the collar and kissed him fiercely. Drunkeness was not the only reason Leonard kissed her back. He wrapped her in his arms to take away the _emptiness _that existed as a hole in his stomach that'd been growing since Priya had left him. It'd been growing since Penny left him.

With passion, Leonard led Priya into the spare bedroom. The world was spinning around him; he could barely focus as he removed her blouse and unhooked her bra. He felt queasy. He felt like he was suffocating. With Priya straddling him and unbuttoning his shirt, he had no time to dwell on the burning hole in his stomach.

.

-_tbc_


	3. Chapter 3

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

_"Time", Pink Floyd_

_Note – Hahahaha, I said I would proofread the last chapter and I definitely didn't. Sorry about the wrong tenses and missing words… sometimes going back and altering sentences I overlook those changes. _

_Leah_

_._

He'd awoken in Priya's bed with a pounding headache. She was draped over him, the sheets wrapped around her shoulders. They were both naked, both with mussed hair and dry lips. "Morning." He yawned, lifting his neck from the pillow in exasperation. He felt queasy and disorientated.

Priya rubbed her eyes. "Good morning." The both yawned and shifted off one another, ensuring that their naked bodies were sufficiently covered. They had seen one another naked many times over the four month duration of their relationship, but now, in the aftermath of their breakup and the grey light in the room from the rainy sky, it felt wrong.

Leonard's mouth felt like cotton. He needed water, something with electrolytes, and more sleep. "What time was your flight again?" He slipped on his glasses.

Priya checked her gold watch. "I should be going to the airport in an hour. My flight leaves at 11 am, and it's international, so…" She wrapped the sheet around her body and stood up. "I should shower."

So, she showered, and Leonard dressed and toasted a bagel for both himself and Priya. He had no appetite, but didn't want to just be _gone _when she was out of the shower. He had a little more respect for their past relationship than that.

In Raj's kitchen, the events of the previous night unfolded slowly in his head. Drinks at the lounge, making out in the cab, and messy, uncontrolled drunken sex with a bottle of Scotch in Raj's spare bedroom. The memory, as blurry as it was, made Leonard cringe. He had figured that something like this _would _happen when he'd agreed to go out with Priya, he just hadn't expected _that _drunken of an outro with her.

Reappearing from the shower in a neatly pressed yellow polo and grey slacks, Priya looked her kempt, orderly self. Her wet hair was twisted back into a bun. Her eyes still looked tired and her face sallow and hung over. She accepted the cream cheese bagel from Leonard, both of them eating in a relative silence. At 9:00, Leonard excused himself, saying that he should go.

It was true. He should go. He felt nauseated and the bagel felt unsettled in his empty stomach. More than anything, though, he wanted to say goodbye to his ex- girlfriend, forget their drunken romp and her jealous, harsh rant about Penny, and go home.

They kissed politely in his exit, both of them vaguely aware of her erratic behaviour the night before. He told her to have a safe flight; she told him to keep it in touch.

Leonard walked out into the rain-soaked, chilly spring streets and waited for the bus back to his apartment.

.

He was tired and chilled from his damp clothes. He had no desire to suffer through any form of human reaction, nor have to think about taking the bus back to the lounge that afternoon to retrieve his car. Least of all had he wanted to see Penny on the stairs. She was dressed for work, wearing absolutely precious pink rubber boots. He, on the other hand, looked like he'd been dragged behind the bus that had been his ride home.

"Oh hey." Her voice was not chipper. It was merely cordial. "You just getting in?"

Leonard nodded. He met her eyes. "Yeah. I stayed at Raj's last night." He felt uncomfortable saying Priya. He felt _more _uncomfortable watching Penny's lips form a hard line of acknowledgment. "We um, had a lot to drink."

"Right, right. Been there!"

His chuckle was weak. "Yeah."

Why the guilt? Leonard felt guilty, standing there on the stairs with Penny, explaining where he'd been the night before. He felt like she could _see _the goodbye sex on him. He felt guilty that his behaviour was making his flamboyantly friendly next door neighbour retreat inward into a little shell of a person. _Why_? It wasn't his fault. He had ended a relationship with a woman in order to _keep _his friendship with Penny. Why should he feel guilty about any interaction he had with Priya?

"Ok, well, work calls, so we'll see you later!"

"Yup, see you later."

Leonard climbed the rest of the stairs in misery.

.

Priya moving back to India left less of a hole in his heart than he had imagined. They had been broken up for more than a month before she had decided to move, and in that month Leonard had actively been doing what he could to get over it. He spent more times with his friends, bought new comic books and reread his previous favourites. He reorganized his Marvel figurines on his shelves, revelling in the fact that he could openly display them a disapproving comment from Priya. It was, for him, the equivalent of a woman getting over a breakup with a new pair of jeans, new shoes and a fresh haircut.

He had gotten back his balance. Penny, Bernadette and, unfortunately, Amy were back in his life. They were a close knit group of friends who provided same-sex companionship for Penny.

Since his break up with Priya, Leonard had also noticed a huge change in Penny. Everything from her physical presence and her demeanour had changed. What was unfortunate was that, after running into her on the stairs after his farewell evening with Priya, that bubbling presence had fizzled out. No longer did she refer to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment as being "home"; that umbrella that she had put them under was no more. She stayed at her actual home a lot more, had the girls in to her apartment, and rarely allowed herself to be in a situation where it was just her and Leonard alone. She never came over for coffee in the morning, rarely ever fell asleep on the couch at their place at night. She always made sure that she went back home.

.

And so, life droned on. Time passed in the most anticlimactic of ways. It was a rainy spring; gray sky afternoons filled the weeks. Leonard felt extremely apathetic. They ate take-out every evening and his career felt stale. Dinner was served nightly in take-out cartons, pizza was ordered, movies were watched. Life was merely passing them by.

.

One night shifted the balance. Raj, Howard, Leonard, Sheldon, Bernadette, Penny and Amy had all gone out to dinner upon Howard's request. It had been a formal affair; Howard wore a forest green suit and purple tie. At the end of dinner, with _Isn't She Lovely _playing on the speakers of the restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed to Bernadette. In front of the entire table.

A hush fell over the table and the restaurant. She accepted, giddily, and in a movie-quality finale, neighbouring tables responded with a rousing round of applause. A married couple from the table next to theirs sent over a bottle of champagne. The drinks flowed that evening, and everyone happily recollected Howard and Bernadette's relationship.

The more flutes of champagne Penny consumed, the more Leonard could feel her staring at him. She looked lovely that evening in a flesh-coloured vintage dress and an eggplant-purple lace bolero. Her looks became obvious, piercing and long. She didn't try to hide her longing. Leonard hadn't seen her so forward about her emotions since they'd been together and she'd wanted something physical: sex.

Penny was never upfront about the emotion, sensitive side of her. She rarely ever verbalized how she felt – a huge component of why they broke up in the first place – and she was defensive about feeling any emotion at all. Leonard was endlessly frustrated with this side of her. He cared about Penny, but her inability to acknowledge that she had a vulnerable side infuriated him. Penny always acted on the physicality of her impulses, never the feeling or honest motivations behind them.

So, Leonard averted his eyes when she'd stare at him. He refused to meet the big green irises that demanded he notice her. She drank more, more, more, until the only place she looked was down at her feet in disappointment.

.

They all took a cab home to their respective buildings. Exhausted, Sheldon and Leonard climbed the steps to their apartment while Penny staggered behind them, singing country songs to herself. She announced midway through the second flight of stairs that she was going to grab her mail so she wouldn't have to in the morning. They all said goodnight and went their separate ways.

"I'm going to double check on Penny." Regardless of who it was stumbling up the stairs, Leonard's conscience wanted him to make sure she made it out of the lobby alright.

She was still his friend. No amount of obnoxious looks could change the fact that he didn't want her passed out on the tile of the apartment's foyer.

Penny was fine. Her envelopes of mail were crumpled in her fist and she had taken off her heels to walk up the stairs. They met up on their own floor, right outside Leonard's door. "Are you ok?" He asked.

He was tipsier than he had thought, but in far better control of himself than she.

"I am _fine. I am good._" She smiled, searching for her keys in her purse. "Just finding my keys… here!"

Leonard nodded. Alright, she was fine. Of course she was. "Ok. Well, goodnight."

Penny fell back hard against her door. She was being loud. "I can't believe Howard and Bernadette are getting _married. _Married!" She obviously wanted to discuss this with him. Leonard turned around to face her, leaning softly on the door to his own apartment.

She did have a point. The engagement was a huge step, and seemed a bit out of nowhere. Everyone had been surprised – happy for them – but surprised.

"I mean, of all people to get married: Howard? Really?" She shook her long, straight hair off her shoulder. "How the hell does that happen? In what universe does Howard Wolowitz get engaged before Leonard Hofstadter?"

Leonard flushed. She was drunk. Her eyes were half-closed. He wanted to tell her to go inside, to shut up before she said anything she'd regret, but he didn't. A part of him wanted to hear the rest of her spiel.

"I mean, really!" She cocked her head, really taking him in. "It's crazy! You're so s_weet_ and wonderful and Howard is so… ick." She shook her head, almost like she was in disbelief. Leonard wasn't sure what she was so flabbergasted about. "And smart too. God damn you're a smart guy. I mean, I don't know how someone like you … someone who _is so smart_ isn't married!"

She tapped her chin. "Like, you should be married by now. You're a good guy! A _good guy Leonard Hofstadter_!"

Alright. Leonard had had enough. He felt uncomfortable. He didn't want to hear this from her, not now, not in the hallway like this. What he'd wanted was to hear it from her a year ago. "Ok, thank you Penny, goodnight."

"_So _smart! And _sexy_! God, you're sexy! You know, I always thought you were cute before, but when we were dating, Jesus, the things you could _do _to -" She covered her mouth in sudden embarrassment. "I'm sorry." She shook her head.

What? She was suddenly self-aware. Leonard was confused. He was tired. "You should get to bed. Drink water, alright?"

And then she smiled again, that same heartbroken smile that she wore every time Priya's name was mentioned. "You really care about me, huh?" With that, she slinked into her apartment and closed the door.

Leonard lingered in the hallway in a pale shade of shocked. What did she mean by that, exactly? Of course he cared about her, he always had. Her mind was such a jungle to him sometimes. Leonard was never sure where she stood. The woman was so hot and cold, so wishy-washy about her feelings that he had never truly caught up to them or understood them.

All the sad looks she'd given him since their breakup led him to believe that yes, she still had feelings for him. But any time she'd open up a little too much, show a little too much emotion, she'd close right up and _ooze _indifference and nonchalance.

But still, Leonard couldn't ignore her reaction to his entire relationship with Priya. When she'd found out they were sleeping together, she had played it cool. She didn't say anything, didn't ask further questions, didn't show any sign of life, really. Leonard had just assumed it was because she, too, had moved on physically. Her short-lived reunion with Zack was undoubtedly a sexual one. The knowledge of her with Zack had crushed Leonard at the time. Thinking of him touching her evoked all sorts of territorialism within him. He had a hard time believing that Penny wouldn't have responded in the same way. He knew her well enough now to know that just because her words or face didn't show it, didn't mean that she didn't feel it.

When she'd found out that Leonard and Priya were officially seeing one another… that news had elicited a different reaction. The dropping of the _new relationship _bomb changed her entirely. She became squeamish in the first few weeks of being in Priya's presence. She was polite, cordial, and tried to take an interest in her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's life, but Leonard could feel her backing away. She'd retreated into Bernadette and Amy for the first little while. Eventually though, Leonard just assumed she'd gotten used to it.

She came around a lot and returned to her original position as the sister of the group, coming over for dinner, attempting to play games with them. It was Leonard's telling her that he needed to create some distance between the two of them for Priya's sake that had caused the return of Penny's distance. He'd supposed that it was merely Penny adhering to Leonard's request, but the upset it had caused her was definitely palpable.

_You really care about me, huh_?

_You just didn't see it, did you? It was this look she had. A self-absorbed parasite, latching on to our relationship._

Leonard felt unspeakably sad.

.

-tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

_"Time", Pink Floyd_

The wedding planning begun. Nearly every evening, Bernadette was at Penny, pouring over fabric samples and dress magazines. As a bridesmaid, Penny was out with Bernadette and the other bridesmaids every Saturday afternoon, looking for dresses for both the wedding party as well as Bernadette.

In less than a month, Bernadette and Howard had set a date (August 16) and settled on marrying at Bernadette's uncle's ranch in San Marino.

It was spring. May. It'd been nearly a month since the night Howard and Bernadette got engaged; nearly a month since the night that Penny had boiled over with emotion in the hallway. In their usual fashion, it was swept under the rug. Within the first seconds of seeing Penny the next day, she breezed over it like it had never happened.

This infuriated Leonard at first. How many times could one girl _possibly _not take responsibility for her actions? It was ridiculous. He'd been _sleepless _than night over it: reeling over her heartfelt _you really care about me, huh? _

He considered Priya's words too, her mean-spirited,_ jealous _critique of Penny. Was Penny only sad because Priya was stepping on her territory? Really? Leonard couldn't stand this. He hated feeling like property, or a child caught in a divorce, having to choose sides. He wanted his friend.

He didn't want to feel caught anymore. Not caught up in the past, in the quest to have a girlfriend, in the politics between two women. And more recently, since the demise of his relationship with Priya, Leonard didn't want to be strung along by Penny.

Because that was essentially what she was doing, wasn't she?

No. Leonard knew that she wasn't trying to string him along. She wasn't doing anything, really. Perhaps that was what bothered him the most.

.

The day of the wedding came. Everyone separated into different cars and drove to San Marino. Penny and her date, Ty, were with Sheldon and Amy. Leonard and his date, Elizabeth, whom he was introduced to through Stuart at the Comic Book Store, drove with Raj and his date through Stuart, Mia.

Leonard hadn't really had a reaction when Penny had informed Howard that she would be a _plus one. _He'd expected it, honestly. When had Penny ever gone dateless.

He and Raj had secured their dates with Elizabeth and Mia weeks before Penny introduced Ty, and Leonard assumed that she'd reeled him in her usual straightforward way. This straightforwardness was a practice she used with _everyone but Leonard. _With Leonard, she was all wine-induced confessions and meaningful stares. Treating time concerning him like it was disposable; like it was static and he'd wait forever.

.

The ceremony had been lovely. Bernadette looked _amazing _in her sweetheart-neckline white cocktail-length wedding dress. She had the most delicate wreath in her hair. Howard wore a powder blue tuxedo.

The reception began with drinks and an iPod hooked up to the most elaborate of surround systems, done by Howard himself. It progressed with dinner.

Penny sat at the head table with the rest of the wedding party. This time, Leonard couldn't help but stare at her. Her hair had grown considerably longer since they'd dated, and in keeping with the au naturelle theme of the wedding, she wore it in naturally wavy. Their dresses were all a flowy pale blue, fitted at the bust. She looked beautiful. Absolutely ethereal.

Like a goddess.

Leonard stared.

.

Elizabeth was perfectly sweet. She was little, raven-haired and in culinary school for a mid-twenties career change. She drank an acceptable two glasses of red wine with dinner, and sipped on a rum and Coke for the rest of the night. She touched Leonard's arm when she laughed, engaged the rest of the table in conversation, and listened with her entire self to all the dialogue exchanged between Sheldon, Amy, Raj, Mia and Penny's date Ty.

She was halfway through _The New York Times' Top 100 Books_ list, had seen the first two _Lord of the Rings _movies and loved CCR.

She was a delight. Yet Leonard found himself glancing up at the wedding party's table, feeling Penny's gaze on his averted eyes. Whenever he'd glance up at her, she'd look away.

It infuriated him.

He wanted… her to meet his eyes. Just once.

.

Elizabeth was deep in conversation with a friend of Bernadette's in the hors d'ourves line, which was a ways from the wooden floor that was put down in the grass as a dance floor. Nearly everyone was dancing, swaying to the Louis Armstrong that was selected on Howard's expansive playlist.

Leonard spotted Penny sitting on the edge the wooden stage that held a citronella tiki lantern wrapped in white ribbon. She was holding a barely-touched glass of red wine.

"Hey." Leonard nudged her, startling her from her daze.

"_Wuddup_." She looked up at him, taking in his collared shirt and sports coat ensemble. "You look very put together. Very GQ."

"Thanks!" He flexed his shoulders in pride. "You look… incredible."

He meant it. She knew it. He could practically _see _her heart melt.

Her voice was bursting with sincerity. "Thank you."

The stood in silence for a moment, taking in the latter end of _All of Me_. It was a strange moment; tense, powerful. It felt dark, sweet, and very palpable. Leonard swore he could hear Penny's heartbeat over the music. In the spell of Louis Armstrong, Leonard asked Penny to dance.

There was no hesitation. No awkwardness, nothing. Leonard wasn't even sure what happened to her glass of wine. The transition to the outskirt of the dance floor into the middle was smooth, seamless.

The opening chords of _La Vie En Rose _played.

They swayed together, both in a trance from the music, from their proximity. At the sound of Louis' voice, Penny met Leonard's eyes.

It was a strange, powerful moment. They danced for the rest of the song.

_Hold me close, and hold me fast_

_The magic spell you cast_

_This is la vie en rose_

_._

The trance ended. The next song came on, and Penny and Leonard unhitched from one another. _Cabaret _totally changed the atmosphere of the dance floor; couples swirled and moved across the floor, all uppity.

The two of them slinked off to the side of the stage, wordless, with brief eye contact. When Leonard broke the silence with "I should go check on Elizabeth", the smile on Penny's face didn't fad. Their arms were linked, and, as Leonard began to walk away, Penny reached out to hold his arm for a moment, saying, with an illuminated grin, "Enjoy your night, Leonard."

.

Whether or not Penny was drunk didn't matter to Leonard. He didn't know how much she had to drink that night, she had seemed extremely coherent. It was the single most spectacular three minutes and twenty six seconds he'd had in a very long time.

He found Elizabeth eating a cardboard plate of salmon on crackers and celery sticks. She waved when she saw him, offered him a celery stick, and led him back to their dinner table to chat with Raj and Mia. Leonard felt spacey. He felt like for those three minutes, he'd traded lives with a Leonard in a different dimension. He came back to the table disoriented, flushed and i_nordinately fascinated._

.

Leonard went home alone that night. Raj, having too much to drink, gave Leonard the keys. Elizabeth and Leonard spoke comfortably the entire ride back to Pasadena. It was late and Leonard was tired. He dropped Raj and Mia off at Raj's, then took Elizabeth back to her condo. A gentleman, Leonard walked her to the front door of her building, thanked her for coming and kissed her. A lady, Elizabeth kissed him back, thanked him for the invite and told him to call her.

Was he going to call her? Leonard wasn't sure. He didn't know how he felt. He was exhausted, he knew that. All he wanted to do was sleep. He knew that he had to be up in eight hours for the gift opening and breakfast in Bernadette's sister's backyard.

.

He was faced with _nothingness _from Penny the next day. There was no glint in her eye when she came over to tell Sheldon and Leonard that if they were downstairs in thirty seconds with coffee for her she was leaving without them. There was no glint in her eye when she drove the three of them to Bernadette's sister's house and Sheldon droned on and on about the potentially undercooked chicken he'd had last night.

No glint when she badgered Leonard about the _Star Wars _wrapping paper he'd chosen to wrap his and Sheldon's gift in. No glint when Sheldon asked her where Ty was this morning and why he wasn't joining them. No glint in her response of "He was a total moron, I set him free."

There was nothing. She showed _nothing. _

Absolutely no acknowledgment of the previous night. Maybe she _had _been drunk. Leonard found this incredibly hard to believe. She seemed so conscious, so aware of every little touch. She had had her hand draped around his neck so purposefully in their dancing; their bodies were so close. He couldn't remember being able to smell any alcohol at all, really. She wasn't stumbling or tripping over his feet. She seemed completely present.

But now, she was nothing. She was being hard-to-read, wishy-wash Penny.

To Leonard, she was wasting time.

-tbc

_Reviews are welcome!_


	5. Chapter 5

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

_"Time", Pink Floyd_

Leonard was dark. He was filled with anger almost constantly. The sight of Penny in her ridiculously bright clothes, coming over daily, infuriated him. She was so present, all the time. She didn't give him _two seconds _of the day to get over her and forget about her lavender-scented skin so close to his when they'd danced. She gave him _no chance _to fight the urge to recollect their failed relationship. No chance at all.

Any time he was with her now, he was in a daze. An absolute daze of memory; recalling their time spent together from the moment he spotted her across the hall to the minute she'd walk into whatever room he was in. She totally and completely enraptured him.

And he'd been doing so well!

He would sit on his chair, poking at his tandoori chicken with her in the spot next to him, and literally feel like his body was shrinking away. He hated this feeling. To be truthful, he'd never _really _felt this intense longing before.

Sure, he'd wanted women before. His entire life he'd had a raging libido and a real keenness for women as a gender. Even prior to his carnal relationship with Penny, there'd been a longing for her. But now, after knowing what he was missing, he'd wanted it so badly, in such an all-consuming way that many nights, in order to relieve himself of the agony of not getting cuddle her during the evening movie, he'd hide away in his room with his lap top, watching television streamed online or playing games.

He wanted her now; he could acknowledge it. But his mind was not made up. He didn't know what to do, how to approach the situation, or what she was thinking. Her closed-book tendency with him was absolutely frustrating. Even though he'd been painstakingly slow in establishing their relationship at first, at least he'd _shown s_omething concrete.

Penny was far too interest in the catch and release method: a sweet cheek kiss and then bam, you run into her choch of a weekend date in the hallway and she, through Eric, Kurt, Jason, Dillon, breaks your little insecure heart.

.

One evening in early September, Leonard fell ill. It was just the common cold, but he was so congested that he was bedridden on a Tuesday night. The guys had gone down to the Comic Book Store to peruse the new selection and to Big Boy Burger for dinner. Leonard, with throbbing sinuses and a burning throat, lay wrapped in bed, surrounded by dirty tissues.

He was chilled, and bored. He'd made his way through the two seasons of _Dexter _on his laptop, but his interest was waning.

Drifting in and out of sleep that evening, Leonard was startled when he'd heard a knock on the door of his bedroom. "Leonard?" It was Penny.

"Come in." His voice was nasal and hoarse.

She kicked open the door, holding a tray. Steaming soup, tea, a mug of NeoCitron, and a sliced orange. "I brought _nutrients_!" Her voice was cheerful. She set the tray down on his bed. "Wow, you've gone through some serious Kleenex." Plucking a fresh tissue from the box, she disposed of each used tissue with her clean tissue-wrapped fingers. She made room on the bed to sit. With no hesitation.

"Wow, look at all this."

"Right! We've got chicken noodle, chamomile tea, non-drowsy NeoCitron and good ol' Vitamin C." She pointed to each item as she listed them. "What can I interest you in?"

"Soup please!" Leonard was starving. He hadn't eaten anything but throat lozenges all day. The steam warmed his face and opened his sinuses. "Smells amazing, thank you."

Penny grinned. "That's five minutes over the stove and a can of Campbell's right there, Mister. _With _reduced sodium!" She added the last bit with a wink.

He was truly grateful. "You _cooked_?"

"Uhh, hello, yes."

"That's got to be a first."

She nudged him, very playful, and took a slice of orange from the tray. "Please, I can cook. I made you that killer dairy-free lasagne, remember?"

He did remember. For their three month anniversary, Penny had prepared a whole Italian night for him.

Leonard took a long sip of soup. "Right, right. No, that was good. _However_, the French torte you tried to make the next month… not so great."

"Get real, the girl on the Food Network totally steered me wrong. _She made it seem like dessert_."

"It had ground beef!"

Rolling her eyes, Penny bit into the flesh of the orange. "Whatever, Leonard, eat your soup."

So he did. It tasted perfectly respectable. It warmed his dry, itchy throat. Penny sat next to him, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankle, eating her orange slice. When she finished, she set the peel back onto the plate and wiped her hands on her lime green sweatpants. "Ok, so, I have another surprise for you." Her face was painted with absolute giddiness. "Since Sheldon has _such _tunnel vision, I made a quick stop on my way home from work _aaand_…" She reached behind her, and seemingly from nowhere, pulled out the new _Superman _comic. "… got _this._"

The glossy front cover was bent from being hid behind his pillow, but it was no matter. His heart swelled. He set down the soup. "No way, that's so thoughtful!" It really was. He was going crazy locked up in his room. His eyes hurt from starring at a computer screen for so long. "Seriously, Penny, you didn't have to do that. It's not even on your way home from work."

"Yeah well, I asked Sheldon which one you'd prefer, and he blabbered on about this issue coming out today. Plus, I figured you'd be going crazy all holed up here in your little cave. So, ta-da. Sorry about the crumpled-ness, I was trying to be all Houdini on your ass and present it from thin air."

He smiled. "Very Wolowitz of you."

"Gross. Give it back now, you've ruined the whole thing."

Leonard laughed and flipped open the front page. He read the first couple pages with Penny tucked a reasonable distance away, eating the orange she'd cut for him.

.

In the next couple days, Leonard began to feel better. His sinuses drained and his cough dissipated. He'd slept like crazy, read and reread _Superman _and got midway through season three of _Dexter. _In conjunction with those activities typical of illness, he'd thought about Penny. Particularly, the nature of her visit.

In the year and some odd months since their breakup, Leonard had gone back and forth on his feelings for her. In the early days, he missed her every day, physically _feeling _the space she'd left in his life. As time passed and the possibility of their reunion became less and less likely, Leonard was able to appreciate her for the caring, brash friend she was.

His relationship with Priya had evoked within him a strange mixture of feelings. On one hand, he'd felt intense loyalty to keep up his friendship with Penny, but on the other hand… he felt something new. Some sort of feeling of moving on; of letting go of the ever-present wish to be with Penny. He had a new girlfriend then, one whom he'd really admired and _liked._

The relationship with Priya was, Leonard figured, probably what got him to where he was today: objective. He cared about Penny deeply. Her well-being mattered to him. He was still attracted to her, still fascinated with her wit and soul. But… he was objective. He recognized her inconsistency and her habits. He knew her fear to get too close, and he also knew the delight she took in keeping her romantic relationships breezy.

Intensity scared her. And, with Leonard, their relationship had moved past breezy into an intense place: love. She knew it; he said it. The commitment that came with vocalizing what she felt scared her, so she ran. Leonard had wanted to hear her say it too bad, perhaps. Perhaps she was too scared to say it.

Leonard doubted that it was out of a lack of love for him.

He supposed he could be wrong; he could've been being presumptuous.

But now, it didn't matter so much. It was in the past, and their relationship had moved forward. A year had passed. In that year, realization had to be made by the two of them, individually.

Now, in his rediscovered health, Leonard was out of bed, showered, dressed in his grey sweater and black vest, washing the dishes Penny had brought his soup and beverages over in. He towel-dried them and went across the hall to return them.

It was Friday evening. After knocking, Leonard realized that she might not even been home. Chances are, she was doing something with Amy, or over at Bernadette and Howard's.

She answered, dressed very non-date like in jeans and a yellow hoodie. "Hey."

"Hey. I didn't expect you to be home! I was just coming over to bring you back your dishes."

"Oh, come in." She swung the door open, taking the dishes from him. Wandering into the kitchen and gesturing to Leonard to close to the door, she placed each item back into its appropriate spot in the cupboard.

Her apartment looked … clean. It smelt clean, in fact. It had that citrusy, pungent smell of Pledge. Clothes were sorted into piles on the floor and full garbage bags sat by her door, labelled "clothes to donate" in silver Sharpie marker.

"It looks great in here." Leonard looked around, noticing her books, CDs, candles and picture frames placed in a reasonably orderly fashion on her shelves.

"Oh, yeah." Penny shut the cupboard door. "I've been doing some cleaning tonight. Check out my closet!" She walked into her bedroom. Leonard assumed she meant for him to follow her.

Her bed was made. She rolled open the closet door. "How _clean _is that?" It was. If her clothes weren't hanging up, they were folded neatly into a wicker chest of shelves that sat on the floor of her closet. "I got rid of so much stuff. It's all out there in bags in the living room. I feel _liberated._"

"Wow, that's great, Penny. Everything's all colour-coordinated and folded _so _well." He really couldn't believe it.

"Well yeah, I didn't spend two years in high school working at the Gap in Omaha and _not _learn how to fold." She closed the closet door. "I mean, this will all be chaos again the minute I get dressed for work tomorrow, but tonight, it's nice."

Leonard laughed and continued to inspect the work she'd done around her bedroom. The carpet looked vacuumed, her ridiculous collection of stuffed animals were placed sporadically throughout the room on clean, polished surfaces.

Then, he spotted the snowflake in the one percent solution of polyvinal acidal resin. On her bedside table.

Penny must've seen Leonard looking at the old gift.

"Oh yeah." She swallowed hard. "Um, I kept it."

He nodded. "It's from the North Pole, so…" He swallowed hard too. "Yeah." He picked up the glass rectangle, examining it closer. He'd forgotten about this. "I was so nervous to give it to you." His confession felt casual now, light-hearted.

She walked in closer to him, examining the snowflake for herself. "It was _so _sweet of you." Her breath was hot on his hands holding the snowflake. "I loved it." She looked up at him, and to clarify, said: "I still do." They both recognized the double meaning in her last words, and she abruptly carried on with "I'm still amazed it doesn't melt" to soften the edge of the l-word.

Penny barely got the last of her sentence out before they were drawn together and kissed. Who leaned in first would always remain a mystery to both of them.

The kiss was extremely slow; very tender. It was unlike the intensity of their kiss they'd shared in Leonard's bed at the conference. This kiss was timid, patient.

Leonard had tossed the snowflake onto Penny's bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was warm, cozy, absolutely wonderful. And then, he something made him pull away. He wasn't sure what it was, but something in his gut told him to take a step back and _look _at her.

He'd never been the one who wanted to leave. "I should go."

Her voice was weak. "Ok." She nodded, her eyes red, lined with faint tears. Tears? Leonard couldn't believe it.

He was scared. Leonard felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff now, and Penny could so easily just push him off. They exited her room in silence, walking to the door. 

She looked absolutely panicked that he was really leaving. He could literally see her trying to formulate words or a reason for him to stay, but she said nothing. She just looked at him with sad, hopeful eyes.

He kissed her with as much delicacy as Leonard was capable of, and closed the door behind him.

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

_"Time", Pink Floyd_

-tbc

_Reviews are appreciated!  
><em>


	6. Chapter 6

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

"_Time", - Pink Floyd_

Leonard went home and stood at his counter for twenty minutes, dipping a tea bag into his mug of boiling water, over and over, in a trance.

He had no idea what was going on. Well, that was false. He knew what was going _on_. But Leonard was unclear of where he stood on it.

Did he want Penny? The subtle build-up of her intimacy towards Leonard in the last few months would suggest that yes, she was interested. Leonard had never been faced with a time when an absolutely gorgeous woman, both body and soul, was interested in him – _pining after him, even – _and he wasn't hot on her heels to make sure she didn't change her mind.

Leonard cared about Penny. In the last few months, he'd fluctuated so much on where she stood to him: one day, he was bitter that she was such a present fixture in his life _and _the fixture that spearheaded his relationship unravelling with Priya. The next day, he saw her in a very pure state, seeing her for the hurt, heartbroken and love-shy woman she was. And on any other given day, things were just…normal. They were the everyday routine; work at their respective places, harassing, joking, more and more infrequent group dinners. Since marrying, Howard and Bernadette ha d taken to eating dinner at their apartment a couple nights a week.

He was so confused on where he stood.

His going over to Penny's tonight confused him even more. The tears rimming her eyes when he'd gone to look at her holding the preserved snowflake absolutely killed him. Why was he doing this to her? Leonard had been absolutely taken with Penny from the first few days of knowing her, why couldn't he put his over-analytical self aside and be with her? She so blatantly wanted to be with him; why couldn't he have accepted that and stayed the night at her place?

Leonard could imagine how it would be. He knew the smell of her sheets, the position she liked to cuddle in, have sex in, and sleep in. He knew how many scoops of coffee to put in the coffee filter so it was strong enough for her. He knew which toothpaste was hers, which kind of gum she preferred to chew, and how long she took in the shower each morning.

He knew her, but Leonard felt like so much time had passed that it wouldn't really be _her _anymore. He had changed things between them: his passionate relationship with Priya had brought out genuine sadness and defeat in her, something that Leonard hadn't really seen since that boyfriend of hers blogged about their sex life.

Figuring it was something that was bound to happen in everyone's life, the heartbreak and defeat, Leonard had chosen to leave her apartment. Leonard had just never imagined it would be him who would illicit those tears of desperation her eyes.

_We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year_

_Running over the same old ground_

_What have we found?_

_The same old fears, wish you were here_

"_Wish You Were Here", - Pink Floyd_

.

They met in the hall the next morning, both on their way to work. Leonard didn't notice any fatigue in Penny, nothing that implied that she'd been sleepless over his departure the night before. Instead, she greeted him with the same brightness that she had for the past few weeks since the wedding.

"Wuddup Hofstadter." She locked her door.

He greeted her. They walked down the stairs, both sipping on travel mugs of coffee.

"Ugh, rain again?" Penny sighed, "What is _up _with this weather? Where's the Californian sunshine that I was promised when I moved here?" She tried to cover her hair with her arms before stepping outside.

"Why don't you wear a jacket with a hood?" Leonard flipped the hood up on his jacket.

"Because," Penny grumbled, zipping up her burgundy leather jacket, "I don't wrestle with a curling iron for a half hour every morning for nothing. I don't get tipped on my _service_, if you haven't noticed." She kicked the front door open with her foot, her arms up over her head, trying to ward off the rain and balance her coffee mug. "Alright, here we go."

"Well, wait." Leonard unbuttoned his navy cargo jacket and slipped off the grey hoodie he wore underneath. "Wrap this on your head."

"Are you on crack?"

Leonard pulled his navy jacket up over his head. "Fine, go to work looking like a wet dog. Cold, wet and grumpy _screams _happy waitress."

Penny thought about this, and, laughing, wrapped Leonard's hoodie over her head. "Touche." They stepped outside, the rain pouring. "Thank you!" She ran to her car as fast as she could, her arms up on Leonard's sweater to keep it from falling¸ coffee spilling out behind her.

Leonard watched her drive away. He waited outside for Sheldon to meet him downstairs.

.

Leonard was exhausted. He hated having to work Saturday afternoons. He and Sheldon came home from work, both in foul moods due to the rain, and collapsed in their respective bedrooms to nap. Finally warmed in his bed, Leonard was awoken minutes into his sleep by a pounding on the front door.

His glasses went on and he stumbled to the front door.

It was Penny.

"Hey!"

Leonard yawned. "What's up?"

"I picked up this _killer _Pad Thai on my way home from work, want to come over for dinner?"

What?

"Tonight?"

Leonard forgot about his paralyzing fatigue.

"Yeah! I only sampled a little. It's still hot."

With no hesitation, Leonard found himself saying "Yes" and telling her he'd be over in five minutes. His easy agreement seemed to elate her. He closed the door, changed into his red pants and blue Periodic Table of Elements t-shirt, and brushed his teeth.

Before wandering over, Leonard grabbed the bottle of cooking sherry in his kitchen. It was all they had.

.

He knocked and entered. Penny was sitting on the couch with the unopened cartons of Thai food. Leonard wondered what her intentions were with this dinner. Platonic? Romantic? He didn't know. Her jeans and deep v-neck t-shirt would suggest that it was merely a casual encounter.

Leonard sat down after their introductory chit chat.

"So, here you go." She handed him a carton. "Pad Thai, egg, extra peanuts. I have hot sauce in the cupboard if you want."

"Nah, I'm good."

They ate their first few bites in relative silence, with Leonard giving her a thumbs up with a full mouth. It w_as _good Pad Thai. Exchanging pleasantries of the day, Leonard internally began to think, more and more, that this was merely an act of friendship. As was bringing him soup when he was sick.

What was so weird about her inviting him over for dinner? Nothing, really. They had dinner together all the time… just never at Penny's apartment. And never just the two of them. Not for at least a year, anyway. When they'd dated, they had dinner together all the time: in bed, out at restaurants, in front of the television. Perhaps the lack of invitation extended to Sheldon, or the absence of Amy Farrah-Fowler was what was causing Leonard to get caught up in his own head.

He had barely been listening to Penny's story about a bartender that dropped a flat of pints.

"I mean, glass everywhere! It took us ten minutes to clean up, so we were s_o_ backed up on the drink orders! Oh my god, you wouldn't believe the amount of people who order Caesars with their lunch! So we had like, ten glasses lined up, and it was just vodka, tomato juice, vodka tomato juice. Oh my god, it was insane."

Leonard nodded along.

.

Penny packed up the leftovers in the kitchen, while Leonard sat on the couch, totally unsure of whether or not to excuse himself or stay. She hadn't hinted at having other plans. Leonard _didn't _have other plans, so he stayed put on the couch.

And then: "I brought sherry!"

It was the catalyst for what was to come.

"I mean, it's cooking sherry, that's all we had. I'm not sure if there's a difference, really, between cooking sherry and regular sherry." He realized his speech was fast. "We could Google it, if you want."

Penny laughed. Reaching into her fridge, she pulled out a bottle of white wine. "I have wine. I think I prefer wine."

Leonard nodded. "Ok. Me too."

He breathed to calm his nerves as she sat down beside him. Pouring two generous glasses of wine, Penny looked up at him with a peculiar look. A look of apprehension, of nervousness. She opened her mouth to speak, very obviously attempting to say something, but shut it like a trout and took a gulp of wine.

"Thanks for dinner."

Leonard offered the ice-breaking sentence. Suddenly, the nature of their visit was clear. It was no longer two friends enjoying fabulous Thai food; they were ex-lovers sharing a bottle of wine. Perhaps not that dramatic, but it was still something _more t_han just dinner.

"My pleasure."

A few seconds ticked by. Both of them drank down as much of the wine as they could, to prepare themselves for Penny's statement: "Leonard, can we talk about something?"

Shivers literally ran down his spine. He felt like he was floating out of his own body. "Sure." He braced himself for whatever was going to fall out of her mouth next.

"I still have feelings for you."

Oh. He hadn't been expecting that much, that soon. He figured that she'd beat around the bush, alluding and dropping hints until the message was clear.

Nope. That's not what she did.

"Sorry." Penny blushed a terribly embarrassed shade of red.

Leonard realized he hadn't said anything.

"No, no, don't be sorry."

"Ok."

"Ok."

Why couldn't he say anything back? This was Penny, sitting across from him, her mouth absolutely gaped open.

This was "I love you" in bed all over again. Leonard took a deep, steadying breath.

This was… the longest silence. He could hear Penny's heart break into a hundred pieces. She didn't retreat back, though; she sat absolutely still, staring at him, trying to read his expression. "I'm …sorry." She couldn't think of anything else to say. "Say something."

Leonard was trying. He was being pelted with a thousand different emotions: love, hesitation, hurt, anxiety, elation. He didn't know which one of these to grab on to and go with. All he could do was just swallow the dryness from his throat. So, he was honest: "I don't know what to say."

Taking this in, Penny nodded. She was surprisingly composed. "Can't give me anything?"

A year of his life flashed before him. The depression after Penny broke up with him, the nostalgia for their relationship, the struggle to come to terms with being alone, his relationship with Priya. It was all playing before him. He felt so, so lost, and so, so ashamed that he was stressing Penny out this way.

He wanted her to understand his side. He wanted her to _understand_ without him having to say anything and completely deflate her hope. He didn't want to deflate her the way she'd deflated him for two years before they'd gone out. It hurt. "Listen…." His voice was so dry. "I don't think I can do this again."

He said it like revelation to himself. Her stoicism fell into shock.

_Running over the same old ground_

_What have we found?_

_The same old fears_

"_Wish You Were Here" –Pink Floyd_

_-_tbc

Thanks guys so much for all your positivity! xx


	7. Chapter 7

Time

_Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day_

_You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way_

_Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town_

_Waiting for someone or something to show you the way_

"_Time", - Pink Floyd_

Leonard did not feel regret instantly. It came upon him gradually, building and building until it was recognizable as what it was: regret.

He left Penny's that night after several apologies and an explanation of how he thought he felt: "I guess I just… moved on. I couldn't wait around for you to decide forever." He was referring to their pre-Priya state; of her believing that she could whistle and he'd come running.

He felt like shit.

She took the news rather gracefully. Clearly upset and blind-sighted, but not angrily. He assumed the anger would come out later when she'd rehash it with her girlfriends. Leonard hated knowing that he was going to be spoken about negatively.

Time moved on. Penny stopped coming around almost entirely, much to Sheldon's dismay. They counted on her now, instead of Howard, to equally divide the dumplings at dinner.

"She's not coming." Leonard told him every night. Part of him didn't want to believe that she wasn't going to come over for dinner anymore. With Howard gone more and more frequently, the Rajesh, Sheldon and Leonard seemed very sparse.

.

The over-analytical side of Leonard took over him. He spent his nights lying in bed, propped up on a mound of pillows against the headboard, thinking. Some nights he wallowed in the stew of pity he felt for screwing up such a magnificent offer from Penny; other nights he felt mature about the decision he made, that it would've been wrong for him to go back to her with so much doubt flying about inside his heart. More often than either spins on the analytical nights, Leonard really just missed _her_. He missed her in the way he _used _to miss her: in his bed, her on top of him, her resting her head on his shoulder watching a movie, her calling him to see when he was free. And he also missed her the way anyone who knew her would: her jokes, her savvy social wisdom, her interest in everyone's lives.

His missing her manifested into regret the evening that Sheldon, while watching a rerun of _Doctor Who _on TV, exclaimed he was getting a telephone call from Penny. He took the call.

Leonard, in his chair with his laptop on his lap, waiting for the results of the purpose of the call with anxiety. He was jealous. The first contact any of them got with Penny in weeks was with _Sheldon_?

"I see." Sheldon nodded. "Well, that's a terrific advancement in your career."

Leonard felt cold. What was she saying?

"Mhmm. Mhmm. I see. Two parts warm, one part cool?" Sheldon frowned, "Penny don't you think I know that? Honestly. Photosynthesis? I understood it in the womb." He rolled his eyes at Penny, to Leonard. "Understood. Alright. Break a leg… or any other standard theatre superstition." They hung up.

"What was that all about?"

Sheldon turned the volume back up on _Doctor Who_. "Drat, we've missed an entire scene."

"Sheldon, this is syndicated television, you've seen this episode before. What did Penny want?"

"It seems as though Penny has a role as a waitress in _All My Children. _She'll be in Los Angeles for a couple of weeks – so far an undisclosed number estimated with 'I _dunno_, like two maybe' – and has requested that I tend to the sustenance needs of her African Violet."

Oh. So she asked Sheldon to water her plants? She called _Sheldon_ to tell him the news that she was cast in a hugely successful soap opera with a r_ecurring role_?

"Interesting side note – African Violets are of the genus _Saintpaulia _after their discovery by Baron Walter von Saint Paul in what we now know to be Tanzania."

_She didn't call him_?

Regret.

"This was in 1892."

"Ok, Sheldon."

"The most common species is the _ionatha._"

"_Ok Sheldon._"Leonard closed his laptop. "I'm going to bed."

"But it's back to back _Who _tonight!"

"I'm not in the mood."

.

From that evening on, the regret multiplied. He missed her presence constantly. Achingly.

She was gone to Los Angeles for three weeks, appearing in three episodes. In that three weeks' time, Leonard continued to splice their relationship apart. This time, though, he always landed with a clear answer: he missed her for a reason that was more than simple friendship. To say that he loved her and had never stopped was an absolute cover-up.

Leonard had always cared _deeply_ Penny and yes, had most assuredly loved her at one point. But to say that he had never stopped? Leonard knew that would be cheating himself out of what he felt with Priya, and what he discovered while he was with Priya. His relationship with Raj's sister had been a passionate albeit flawed one. With Priya's demanding that he was no longer allowed to see Penny, all Leonard could do at the time was weigh which relationship mattered to him the most. He'd wanted to keep both, but Penny came out the victor.

He missed her daily, wishing that she'd pop by for dinner and repeat what she'd said to him a few weeks back: I still have feelings for you. He wished that she was still across the hall so that he could pop over there, possibly with a chilled bottle of wine instead of warm cooking sherry, and tell that he still had feelings for her.

Because of course he did!

Leonard regretted the fear that overwhelmed him when she'd been honest. He regretted it because, though Penny hadn't moved, she'd been away to Los Angeles for close to a month, living her dream… without him. Without telling him, even. Leonard wanted so bad to be able to enjoy her success _with _ her, not miles away, without her, and without any attempt to let him know.

Without. That's how Leonard felt. He felt without love, without security, without comfort, without comradey. Essentially, without Penny. And it was a sickening feeling; equally as sickening as it had been when they had broken up.

.

She came home after five weeks. Penny had been staying with an old friend in L.A., and her stint on the soap opera had ended. She came home late at night, sometime after midnight, with a slew of shopping bags she'd accumulated on leave.

Her unpacking her car was quite loud. The trudging up the stairs, the heaving bags, and the dropping them on her floor, repeatedly, was enough to wake Sheldon. And when Sheldon awoke, banging on Leonard's door, Leonard had to wake.

"It's probably just Penny." Leonard grumbled, rolling over in bed. He didn't want to get up. He didn't know _how _to see her yet; he couldn't think up any grand reconciliation plan while she was away.

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "And if it's a masochist, you're asking me to just lie in bed and wait for him to get me? I hardly think so. Go check the peephole, Leonard."

Leonard put his robe on, his glasses on, and checked the peephole. It was Penny, as he'd expected. Sheldon, relieved and filled with a rediscovered bravery from the absence of a hallway psychological sexual predator, opened the door to scold Penny for her disruptive behaviour.

"Good to be home." Penny tossed her remaining bags into the entranceway of her apartment. Leonard remained behind the door, out of her line of sight. "How have you been, Sheldon?"

Sheldon sighed. "I've been what I am, Penny, at each point in the continuum. You know this. I don't have the energy for repetitive, benign chit-chat tonight. I'm glad it was just you in the hallway, and not a real physical threat. I'm sure you will insist on telling us all about your good fortune in Los Angeles, but for this evening, I'm going back to bed." Sheldon turned around to re-enter his apartment, bumping into Leonard who hid behind the door. In a panic, Sheldon retreated back into himself in defense, squealing "Predator!" Seeing that it was Leonard, he relaxed, chastised Leonard for spooking him, and went back to bed.

Well, Sheldon had said _Leonard _and Penny had most definitely heard it, so Leonard peeled out from behind the door. Penny was staring at the doorway, waiting for him to reveal himself. She looked more tanned than usual, even though it was all the same sun. Was her hair more blonde?

In the hallway, in her wrinkled driving sweatpants, yellow tank top, and haphazardly pulled back hair, Leonard was brimming with regret of rejecting her. He so badly wanted to scoop her up in his arms, take her into her apartment, and welcome her back home, just as she'd done when he'd returned from the North Pole. But it wasn't that simple, Leonard figured. Her reaction to that could be violently different than from what Leonard wanted to happen. And, if she was not receptive to the impromptu lovemaking, Leonard could have potentially ruined his relationship with her all together.

So, he said, "Hey! How was Los Angeles!" His enthusiasm felt rather hollow and tinny. "Congratulations on the part on the show."

Penny tucked her over-grown bangs behind her ear and smiled. "Thank you. It was amazing. I was like _this close _to Susan Lucci."

There was a pause between them; a piece of time passing where neither of them said anything, just stood there, mouths ajar, wondering if the other had forgotten about their awkward encounter five weeks before. Leonard tugged on the tie-belt of his bathrobe to occupy his hands.

So many mornings with Penny in that red bathrobe.

Penny looked into her apartment, at all the bags she had yet to unload, and shrugged. "Ok. Well, I guess I should let you get back to sleep. Sorry for waking you."

"No, you… it's fine. Need help unpacking?"

Leonard's extended invite seemed to act as a bridge over their awkward waters.

"It's kind of late."

"Oh no, you're right, yeah."

Penny shrugged again. "Alright, I guess I'll…"

"Right, so… see you in the morning?" Leonard gave the specified time frame of the morning, attempting to power through her being so aloof. It was an invite of sorts to bring her back around. "We have cinnamon bagels." Enticement.

She laughed half-heartedly. "I have to call into work to see when my upcoming shifts are. So, we'll see."

_We'll see. _Ok, Leonard could take that.

His moment of clarity had come: he wanted Penny back. And_ his _being evasive and aloof had caused her to have been pushed so far away, to stop referring to the take-out as being "at home" when it arrived for dinner. He'd wiped away the dreamy grin she'd had looking at him at the wedding. They were back to where they started when Priya had created the guidelines for Leonard's life. Penny was sparsely seen and heartbroken. This time, at least, Leonard knew, not what to do, but where he wanted it go.

.

She didn't come for breakfast. Leonard wasn't sure if she ended up taking a shift at the Cheesecake Factory, but either way, she didn't call, and Leonard ended up putting the bagels back into the bag. He ate shredded wheat for breakfast instead.

His plan of apologizing to Penny and reigniting their flame over her second favourite flavour of bagel had unfolded in his favour. Inviting her over for breakfast had been his first idea to get onto the road of beginning a relationship with her. He figured a gesture of a meal was more often than not symbolic of a big event. Penny had invited Leonard over for Pad Thai when s_he _had wanted to get onto the road of a new relationship. Only then, Leonard had been in the passenger seat, car sick, blind-sighted, and with no map.

.

It was Thursday that night – pizza night – so Leonard, Raj, Howard and Bernadette were gathered in Leonard's living room. Amy and Sheldon had gone out together on a rather official "date", something that they'd been doing at least once a week, whenever Sheldon wasn't craving what he'd assigned for dinner that evening. Leonard ate a garden salad he'd made himself with a head of romaine and some sliced cucumbers and broccoli.

"Is Penny coming over for dinner?" Howard asked. "She must be back for L.A. by now."

"She is." Bernadette nodded, wiping the pizza sauce from the corners of her mouth. "She's back from L.A. I went out for lunch with her today. "

Went out for lunch? The words rolled through Leonard like electric shocks.

"She had just the most amazing time on the show. She's in five upcoming episodes as a barista in the hospital coffee shop! Isn't that so neat?"

"Very impressive." Howard agreed. "I wonder if she nailed any of the actors."

Bernadette slapped his arm lightly. "Howard!" And then she giggled. "Although, she did tell me Trent Garrett brought were a can of iced tea once!"

"Is that innuendo?"

Bernadette shook her head. "Well, no. But Trent Garrett is a cutie!"

Leonard remembered his name to Google Images him later.

.

Bernadette, Howard and Raj stayed at Leonard's to watch the new _Green Lantern _movie on Pay-Per-View. Mid-movie, Bernadette's iPhone started ringing. "Oh, one sec, it's Penny." Bernadette slipped off the couch and excused herself into the kitchen.

Leonard could overhear parts of their conversation. Something about "Oh, what a drag" and "I'll leave right away" and "the new one with Ryan Reynolds."

Bernadette slipped on her sweater and slung her purse on her arm. "Ok, I'm going to pick up Penny. Her date Jared turned out to a _huge _creep and she didn't drive."

"Ok, babe." Howard kissed Bernadette's cheek. She left. "Just saying goodbye to my wife, you know." He nudged Raj.

With Bernadette gone, Raj spoke: "Whatever dude, keep saying that and she's going to be your ex-wife."

Leonard tried to conceal his burning envy with feigned interest in the movie. Penny was on a date? _Why _was their cycle like this? What was wrong with their timing?

Leonard had wanted to take this window of both of them being single to get back together in a grand, romantic way. He wanted there to be soul-airing confessions and beautiful reconciliation. Had Leonard missed his tiny window of time already? Had he shattered the glass in the window when Penny had aired her soul to him?

Fuck. Leonard felt like a lead-weight, his gut and soul churning.

.

That night Bernadette never came back to finish the movie. Sheldon and Amy came home around nine o'clock after having gone for Sheldon-approved Mexican food. They parted ways with no inkling of affection. Sheldon took one look at the remake that was playing on the television, snorted in disapproval, and sat down at his computer.

By eleven, the movie was over. Raj, Howard and Leonard sat in the living room, numbly watching late-night talk shows. A knock came from the door. For a fleeting second before Howard answered it, Leonard had believed the knock to be coming from Penny coming over to reunite with _him _in a grand, romantic way.

It was Bernadette at the door, coming from Penny's to drive her and Howard back to their house. With as much nonchalance as he was capable of, Leonard asked: "How was Penny's date?"

With a look that suggested she knew the goings on of their relationship for the past couple of months, Bernadette said, tight-lipped, "Kind of a catastrophe."

Was this a jab or a hint? Leonard didn't know. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his olive green pants – a hard task to do sitting down.

He said "cool" to this, as lightly as he could.

Bernadette crossed her arms over her chest. "Jared had been trying to pick her up at work for a couple months now, and he finally succeeded. _But _his _girlfriend _ended up being at the same lounge they were at. How gross." He still didn't know if Bernadette was trying to hint that Jared was on par with Leonard, or that Leonard was so much better for Penny than this guy.

Howard zipped up his sweater and headed toward the door. "Well, maybe if you and Penny stopped this ridiculous circling of each other, you'd be back together by now, and she wouldn't have had the misfortune of getting in a car with him. But _no_, you guys are taking your sweet time, leaving us in the _terrible _position of trying to pretend like you both aren't trying to constantly hint for details on the other person's life! I don't know how many times in the past six months I've gotten a text from Penny asking if you were on a date!"

Howard was rather worked up.

"She texted _me!_ Outside of a single text from the Chinese restaurant asking if I was allergic to cashews too, she's never texted me. Not that I mind now that I'm _married._" He winked at Bernadette. "But it's ridiculous. Come on."

"Agreed." Sheldon didn't shift his gaze from his computer to chime in.

Leonard squirmed in his chair. "The timing is never…"

"The _time _will pass if you don't two don't come to a conclusion soon." Bernadette's tone was one of warning. "She'll settle for a Jared. You should've seen this guy's arms."

Leonard frowned.

.

Bernadette was right: he was running out of time. Leonard and Penny had a terrible habit of relationship give-and-take. But Leonard wanted to reunite properly. If possible, he wanted fireworks, some kind of orchestra playing something Baroque in the background, a wonderful prelude in a French restaurant.

What he could was this: running into her in the lobby again, both of them coming and going at the same time. Leonard, on his way to pick up dinner for the group; Penny, on her way back from the day shift at work. They had no other option other than to greet one another.

It was humid in the lobby. It smelt rather stale and dusty, like the wind blowing around outside, full of debris, had been trapped in the foyer of the apartment complex. Penny was sweating; the air outside was muggy, and the Saturday afternoon lunch shift was always incredibly busy. She was fanning herself with the mail she'd retrieved from her mailbox when she and Leonard ran into one another.

Their small hellos somehow transitioned, rather unnaturally on Leonard's behalf, into his asking her what her plans were for the evening. "Going out with Jared?"

This made Penny turn around on the stairs, eyebrows furrowed, with her hand on her hip. "Are you mocking me?"

"Mocking you?" Leonard stopped walking too. "How is that mocking you?"

"Bernadette told me that you were asking about him last night. So I can only presume she told you the humiliating fact that his _girlfriend _was at the bar we were at!"

Leonard wanted to backtrack. "No, that's not what I meant, really. I mean, yes, she told me that, but I didn't mean for it to be mocking."

"Well, whatever. Fine. It sounded mocking. And no, I'm not going out with him, thank you very much."

Her tone was venomous. Leonard's blood ran cold.

"Ok."

Penny took the first few steps up the staircase, implying that the conversation was over, but then turned around angrily. "God, you always do that! You always belittle the guys I date!"

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do! Zack, Kurt, all of them! You think you're so superior to them."

Penny's tone _dripped _with frustration. Her cheeks were flushed pink. Leonard's body continued to feel panic in her eyes to suggest something else; that was defensive and frustrated with _him_, not for outsmarting her usual selection of men, but for her and Leonard not being together.

Leonard nodded, wanting the conversation to end. "Ok, I'm sorry."

She barely heard him.

"You think I'm wasting my time with all of them! What else am I supposed to do, wait around for you to fall more and more in love with Raj's sister?" Her cheeks were now red. "I can't just wait around forever!"

This accusation transformed Leonard from composed to exasperated in six loaded words. "_You _wait forever? You hardly wait for anything, Penny! _I _was the one waiting for you for _two years _before you finally decided that ok, you were ready for me now. And then, what? Eight months later, you decide you're over it and think I'll keep waiting for you to catch up?"

"You were moving too fast!"

"You were just scared!"

This cooled her rage. She froze; Leonard numbed. Penny turned around and continued up the stairs, wordless. Leonard pushed open the front door and squinted in the dusty wind to go pick up dinner.

_The same old fears. Wish you were here. _

Yeah, Leonard may have jumped the gun with his I Love You a year ago. Yeah, Penny may have been too scared to be honest with him then. Yeah, Penny may have waited – tortured – throughout Leonard's romance with Priya. Yeah, Leonard was too scared a couple of weeks ago to reciprocate Penny's feelings.

Yeah, a lot of excuses. Yeah, they both screwed up.

Leonard didn't want to waste time anymore.

Turning around on the street in front of his parking spot, he ran back into the building, taking the steps in twos, until he caught up with Penny on the fourth floor. He was short of breath; he really could've used his inhaler right then.

He didn't have a speech prepared. There were no fireworks.

There were two wrung-out, terrified, in love individuals, both frustrated to no end, both fearful of making the first move… again.

"Listen, Leonard, I don't want to talk about -" Her voice caught in her emotion-swollen throat.

They never wanted to talk about. The operated in bursts of emotion and periods of evasion until the other one snapped. Their timing was off; they were going to _run out _of time.

"Penny - " His voice, too, caught in his throat. He searched for words, something convincing, but came up with nothing. "What are we doing?"

They both decided to forego explanations and accusations, and were once again, pulled into one another's arms. Leonard kissed her first, determined and purposeful. He held her to him tightly. She hung on.

Their kisses were firey, passionate and possibly a little uncoordinated, from such deep-rooted deprivation and desire for one another. They kissed as they finished the stairs, trying to walk together in coordination to Penny's apartment.

Their coordination was unsuccessful; it was not slow, fluid movement to Penny's door. Leonard stumbled slightly on her heels. She accidentally bit his lip in such her overwhelming longing. "I need my keys." She searched through her purse, trying to balance the mail under her chin. Leonard kissed her neck as she looked.

The key was in.

In a haze of clumsy intensity, the door slammed behind them, followed by the thud of Leonard pressing Penny against the door.

-_fin._

_You guys were incredible! Thank you for all the positivity, support and patience! xx_


	8. Epilogue

_Alright, alright, you convinced me._

Time: Epilogue

Her mouth was dry. Her throat was even dryer. Her saliva felt like a wad in the back of her throat; her hands were cold.

Nerves.

Nerves for a first date with her ex-boyfriend with whom she spent the entire night and morning making love with. Leonard, across the hall, went home to shower and dress. And make reservations at a little bistro down the street.

Leonard. The Leonard who loved her, the Leonard who she stomped all over, the Leonard she had pined for, confusedly, the last number of months. Their relationship was complex. It had pitfalls, downfalls, but was on the up now. Grievances were aired; honesty was a priority.

Last night and this morning, in their blissful reunion, they lay awake between their lovemaking, talking. Both disoriented, tired, but absolutely elated, they came clean: their bullshit circle dance was over, and they wanted to be with one another. Neither of them using the sensationalized façade of declaring true love, they were truthful about how they felt about one another.

They drew on the past, but last night, chose not to dwell on it. Many discussions would be had about the past, present and future of their relationship. Leonard was to be over in ten minutes – they were absolutely capable of having a conversation about their feelings in ten minutes.

Because there was no hiding, no running away, no being evasive. This knowledge filled her with relief.

Penny waited for Leonard on the couch, a glass of pinot grigio numbing her sweaty palm. This was it.

_Finish_


End file.
